Why do we love them so?

First off WELCOME to Brendan! He joined us on Saturday at 0111 that is 1:11 am for you civilians pukes.

The question was posed to me by March's brother in reference to the good old B's. Well I am not sure why we love them so, we (Beantown) have always been nuts for hockey, even before the days of Bobby Orr, back then it was the Big Bad Bruin's and win or loose people knew they where going to get entertained. I know for our (March, B and I) generation it was Ray Bourque, Cam Neely, Andy Moog and Reggie Lemlin (OK so not so much Cam for B and March but F* you its my blog) It was the pain in the ass that Ken Linseman was, it was the pugalist nature of LB, it was Taz who would stop skating just to drop someone for looking at him the wrong way, it was "Nifty" and the Chief, Espo, and Shore... the list goes on and on. It was making it sooooo close but never quite getting there to push it over the top it was the fact we made the playoffs on a regular basis and we actually had a chance (Granted many of those first round victories came against the forever 500 whalers, who by the way have more cup finals appearances and cups than the B's in the last fifteen years) but if you look at what we have put up with over the last five plus seasons you really wonder why do we love them? The raise ticket prices, they put out a team that might make the playoffs, they raise concession prices when the team does poorly so that they can say "look we did not raise ticket prices) They finally clean house this year and tell Harry "thanks for your help now sit down and shut up" but what do they do for a follow on? They blow the roof off the ticket prices and make us all pay for it. Why do we love them so???? Not sure but I think it is some kind of addiction, must have been all those TV38 broadcasts back when subliminal messages where being sent out through our TV sets, because it sure isn't for the entertainment value anymore!

Long time no TYPE

HI ALL, Been a while since I have been here, I have been busy as hell, between work and the soon to be born Brendan I have been pretty swamped. Not much new here, I will be the proud papi of a bouncing baby boy on Sept 25th, or sooner. Seems that you can now choose your childs birthday, as my wife has told me that if we do not have the baby by next Monday that he will arrive by appointment. I told her that if she has a long labor I am going to be mad, I do not want to spend my birthday in the hospital, and for those who know me, you know I am all about me... For those of you who don't shut the hell up I'm just kidding. Well back to our woes, the B's lost 5-0 lastnight, OK so Chara, Savard nor Kessel did not play, but come on boys, you could have at least scored, what happened to Boyes, Sturm, and Bergeron? NO GOALS I hope they played a bunch of youngsters and our vets saw little ice time. because if not we are looking at another early draft pick (of course we would have to trade Chara, Savard and Kessel for not performing first, that is unless they all turn out to be Zhamnov then we will have to pay them and look like fools) I don't think that either will be the case, and personally I can not wait to watch the opener. I am a little pissed that they held out Chara and Savard, Kessel had an excuse, has a bum hip that he was nursing so I give them a pass on that one but hell this game was as close to Boston as they get for the pre-season and they should have come out with all the available talent to show the faithful that they meant business...... Unless of course we are all about business and this is all just a new marketing plan...... Sign big names then make you buy season tickets because they will only play some nights and those nights will not be disclosed until the pre-game skate...... I thought we fired MOC and Harry quit? RIGHT? GO B's..... Welcome Brendan! MARCH come on down for a CIGAR my friend!

Confused

How the hell are the Bruins bosting about having a full roster going into training camp for the first time in the last decade if they only have 19 guys on their roster? Slap me in the face and shit on my head, but I thought a full NHL roster was at least 21 guys. Who the hell are the other three (I say three because good old Zhamnov is one of the 19), and I won't even go near the comments on who the hell some of the rostered players are.... Good lord I think March and I may have a chance at wearing a B's Jersey this year and we would actually be expected to play, not just reap the rewards of a 400K minimum salary and hundreds of groupies (and those are just the one's that Muzz has cast off to us as simpathy pussy)

Well good news came out this week, the teddy bear has officially been stuffed (in the trash that it is) THANK GOD, the bold gold (as management once called, I rather call it pissed on yellow) was bad enough, and actually grew on me as a color, but the freaking teddy bear logo on the front was down right embarassing. The only other logos I have seen that rank worse are the new Buffalo logo and the old crusty fisherman the Ilse had, which they thankfully tossed in the trash.

Short take

Been pretty busy the last few days, and this place is actually making me work this week, so I will need to keep this short.

Good News:
Bruins signed Bergeron
Harry Siden is out of the country
Hal Gil and Nick Boyton have been shipped out of town
Zedno Chara is on his way in town
Bruins inked Phil Kessel
Glen Murray now at least has a constant pairing on a line with him.

Bad News:
I actually have to do some work
I got like four hours of sleep lastnight Thanks to (Work, Beer, hockey Beer, Work) in that order which made work that much more fun.
Pluto is no longer in our solar system
No one has drown Bin Laden in pigs blood
Castro is still alive.
Chavez is still alive and thinks Castro is God.
The Jacobs family still owns the Bruins and continues to raise ticket prices.

Peace OUT!

Almost Done.. and a look at salaries

Well today's Boston Globe is reporting that the Bruins are close to signing Bergeron. This of course is something that should have been done a long time ago. It will be interesting to see what the kid comes away with, now I am a BIG Bergeron fan, but that said has he proven himself to be worth the 4.5 million they are talking about signing him for? Yes he had a great year last year with 73 points, and he plays with grit. His rookie year consisted of 31 points and he was only 18 years old. If you take a look at other former Bruins who scored 73 points and add the 24% to the salary that the players "rolled back" after the lockout you would be paying 5.58 million a year to guys like Keith Crowder who had 70 points in 84-85; Tom Fergus who had 73 points in 84-85; STEVE KASPER who had 70 points in 87-88; Dmitri Kristich who had 71 points in 88-89; Ken Linesmen who had 81 points in 85-86; Peter McNab who had over 70 points each year from 76-83; Brad Park 79 points in 77-78; Barry Pederson 116 points in 83-84; VLADIMIR RUZICKA who had 75 points in 91-92; and Jozef Stumpel who had 76 points in 96-97.
That said, times have changed since many of these players had there 70 point season, so take out 116K (roughly 2% for each years average cost of living increase) and you get the following salaries:

Keith Crowder 3.2 Million in 1985
Tom Fergus 3.2 Million in 1985
Steve Kasper 3.5 Million in 1988
Dmitri Kristich 3.6 Million in 1989
Ken Linesmen 4.4 Million in 1986
Peter McNab 3.3 Million in 1983
Brad Park 2.3 Million in 1978
Barry Pederson 3.3 Million in 1984
Vladimir Ruzicka 4.42 Million in 1992
Jozef stumpel 4.5 Million in 1997

To put these salaries in perspective, here is some information on Wayne Gretzky’s salaries:

In 1985 Wayne Gretzky’s salary was 850K (Canadian!!!!)
In 1987-1992 Gretzky made 2.0 Million with the Kings.

With that said do you think that the issue with high salaries has been corrected by the salary cap? Nope, it only means that those players at the bottom of the pile are getting even less.

SCARY isn't it!

Accountants

I know I am not the only one with this gripe. Last week I took the fam damily to the Outer Banks of NC for what has become our annual beach trip, we do the whole rent a house on the beach thing, even though I have grown to hate the beach, well not really, I just hate how the sand sticks to everything and does not come off, of course unless you go in the water and then YOU HAVE TO WALK ON THAT SHIT AGAIN and it gets all over you AGAIN.

OK Back to good old accounting. Here I am sitting at the beach doing my best to fry myself (did a dam good job if I don't say so myself, funny how SPF 30 does little when baking on the beach for a few hours) and my cell phone rings with that nice Uncle Sam supplied ring tone. I instantly get the ugly eye from my wife as this the last call I got with that ring tone was the one putting me on alert for a possible return to work due to the whole no liquids deal that hit the fan earlier in the week. I answered and like a true professional scum bag got up and walked away from the fam damily and head off down the beach to talk (like being away from my family was going to make this conversation secure.. not sure why I do that, they can be trusted more than some fat chick who has no right to wear a bikini lying on a towel with her roles touching on either side) Well it was not the dreaded call to come back to D.C. it was the dam accounting folks saying my travel card balance was 60 past due. I make a futile attempt to tell them it was not and that it was paid in full on the 15th which is after the statement date. The asshole on the other line simply says well then that is still considered outstanding until next month. Then had the nuts to say can you FAX me proof it was paid. HELLLLLLOOOO ashole I am on a fucking beach, oh wait let me pull out my handy dandy James Bond FAX machine, I forgot I had Q shove one in my ass just in case some fucking moron from accounting called! So I explain that I do not have access to a fax and that I paid them two days after receiving my travel payment from them.
To make a long story short, I ended up having to get my bank to FAX a copy of the payment to the acounting department, listen to the wife bitch about how she had to take all the beach shit back by herself while I was as she stated "working" (This is where I knew I was going to be in trouble) Any hooo I ended up wasting like three hours trying to get it all fixed and my account now that I am back at work still shows the balance being outstanding even though the payment shows on the account. With a nice call to accounting, I was again told that the payments will not clear the account balance until the statement is closed this month.

Bottom line is I wasted a half a day with this goat rope, my division chief was under the impression I was not paying my card off, and my wife was pissed off for the rest of the week, and this could have all been avoided if the accounting assholes did not sit on my travel voucher (which was submitted the first day back from travel) for three weeks before paying me, but hell that is somehow my fault.
If your in a corporate accounting office and your office practices this method of madness FUCK YOU..
Otherwise have a nice day!

Random SHIT

So Harry Sinden is FINALLY gone! Yup he “retired” today, funny how this comes once Chiarelli has settled in, and a few months after the Boston Globe interview in which owner Jeremy Jacobs stated that “Harry Sinden is old and will not be around for long” He later stated that he was inferring to the fact the Harry was old and some day would die, and until then he would have a job in the Bruins organization. Well he did not die ( and I would not wish that on anyone, well on Harry at least) and he still has an “advisory” role with the team, aka sit down, shut up, and don’t say a word unless asked, doing so mean you keep your salary and you go away quietly.

This week has been SLOW at work, I hate when I am between classes, as there is little for us to do and man you can only surf the internet for so long before you get bored (of course if they would change the no porn rule at work I could stay busy for hours)

I have a gripe I need to put out there, and if you don’t like it don’t read this shit, after all the blog is called ‘Time To Vent” for a freaking reason.
I own a 2005 ford five-hundred. I bought it in January of 2005 and all was good, it rode great and is a cross between Ford owned Volvo and Jaguar X type. It was designed by the engineering teams who designed the Volvo s-80 and the Jaguar X-type sedan. I was happy with it, until I hit 20k miles. Since this “high mileage” mark, my car has been in the shop for every reason you can imagine. The struts have been replaced, the rear sway bar was bent (how the hell that happened no one seems to know) the blinkers have both gone haywire at separate times, blinking a three times the normal speed, just shy of looking like a strobe light, last week the brake lights stuck on, the drivers window made a nice loud sweeeeeaaaak when opened, and the trunk required you to pull on it two or three times before it would loosing and finally open. Needless to say I am ready to drive it off a cliff in a fit of rage, but of course that would require me to purchase a new car and I kind of like not having a car payment seeing that this one is paid off (thanks to big Jack and his Christmas gifts he’s been handing out since retiring). I am planning to put my vehicle woes in writing and sending it to Ford, I am sure that will do little, but it may get me a sympathy vote for an extended warranty. I will keep you posted to the out come.

On to the deck. I am building, well having a deck built, but I am acting as the general contractor to keep the costs down. This means I pull the building permit schedule the inspections and order the materials. Well the guys that where sent out by the builder to construct the deck are some pretty good guys, they have been great, they put together the materials list contacted the supply company and got me their discount, so all I had to do was pay for it (that would have been great if they covered that too!) They even scheduled the first inspection (the footing or hole inspection) for me. So the County sends out a gut on Monday to check the holes to ensure that they where 24” deep and he shows up sticks his tape measure in the hole and says, “You failed, this hole is only 23 and 3/8 deep.” He would not allow the guy to stick a shovel in and scoop the dirt out that had simply gone back in the hole from the heavy down poor we had the night before. What a fucking prick. So we had to pay a second $35 bucks for some fat ass chick to come out the next day and not even pull out a tape measure, she just looked in the hole and said looks good to me, you pass. I wanted to say WHAT THE FUCK BITCH at least pull out your fucking tape measure and make me think that the County was not just filling some quota of permit failures, that is BULLSHIT. I love to see my tax dollars used so wisely. (Have I mentioned I am writing this at work, this is a direct result of the County wasting tax dollars, resulting in me wasting federal tax dollars, it is a vicious cycle). Anyway the deck can now move forward and by the time I return from OBX next week I will be able to sit out on it smoke a cigar and enjoy an ice cold Sammy or two (or three or four or five)

Where we stand, five weeks til camp begins

With training camp only five weeks away, I decided to take a look at the Bruins roster and see where we stand. Now new GM Peter Chiarelli has made a valiant effort to rekindle hockey in the Hub and has brought in some talent in Chara and Savard. That said, Savard needs someone who can put the puck in the net, yes Muzz can do that but without a legitimate threat on the opposite wing, Muzz is too easy to cover as we saw last season.
According to BostonBruins.com the Bruins have 34 players on their roster. To me this would mean you have 34 players signed sealed and delivered for day one of camp September 12th. Well taking a look at who is on the roster shows that at least three of those listed are "hopefuls" one is Patrice Bergeron (he had better be there, after signing Boyes, they had better be inking Patrice as he is obviously a much higher caliber player than Boyes) another is Jurcina, now this is an interesting one as he is a defensemen and we seem to have a plethora of D right now. Of the 34 players on the roster there are ten defensemen, now I know you need D to win but five sets of D on your roster is absurd. Break it down a little further and you will see that four of the ten are set in stone, (Alberts, Chara, Mara and Brad Stuart) that leaves six guys fighting for at most four slots on D and that is saying that they plan to carry four sets of defense which may be a little much. Now throw into this mix the fact that Brian Leetch remains out there and would likely play in Boston for the home town discount of a million bucks and you now have six guys fighting for three slots. That said look for Wade Brookbank, Jurcina (if signed) and likely Jason York to fill out our D.
On to the forwards....
The first line will likely be Bergeron (if signed) Sturm and Boyes. Not sure if I keep it that way but it seemed to work last season. Now if Kessel signs and I was the next former Bruins coach I may set a first line of Savard centering Muzz and Kessel (yes he is a center but would likely play wing until he got used to the NHL, this would open up Murray and also give him two set up men, think of the possible out come there, it makes you drool doesn't it). For fun, plus this is my blog and I choose to do so let's say that Kessel does not go back to school so our top two lines would be as stated above in either order depending on who your opponent was. Do you want fast with no much hitting? Well then start the Bergeron line. Do you want one fast as hell guy (Savard) and two guys who can hit anything that moves? Well start Muzz and the boys. It could turn out to be one of the best one two combinations the "Hub of Hockey" has seen in a long time.
Now for the bangers, the third line looks to be shaping up with Primeau (number three unsigned but on the roster player) P.J. Axelsson and Shean Donovan. The fourth line if there is one would likely not see much if any playing time and would likely be one or two guys who are on the bubble splitting time between Providence and Boston.
The bid signing of the summer of course is Chara. He was in many folks minds the cream of the free agent crop and some how Jeff Gorton pulled one out of his ass and landed him. Kudos Jeff, but I think the fact the Chiarelli was coming to town may have helped with that one. Not sure why nobody has thrown up the red flag on Chara leaving for Boston when Chiarelli was sitting in Ottawa "helping" with their frsigning signings. I know that Ottawa is run by a bunch of Canadians but are they really that dumb? Never let someone who is leaving help you do anything, except clean out their office. Thanks Ottawa we owe you one there.
With the signing of Chara instantly made folks in Boston realize two things, the new commitment to winning may not have been bullshit and we are now once again looking like the BIG bad Bruins of old. Well not so fast, I will not throw the bullshit flag on the commitment (I am hopeful) but I will throw it out on the BIG, well kind of. We certainly are big, with an average weight of 202. Wow that reads like a football team doesn't it! Well now for the kicker, Chara's 6'9"frame does little for team height, we are a measly 5'10". That means I am the size of an average Bruin, and my fat ass could shed at least fifteen pounds, Hell when I played real hockey, I was listed as 5' 10" 185 (and I am sure they added some weight there as I would guess I was MAYBE a buck 80 and no more than 5'9") Bottom line is, like my brothers tell me, I still have my hair but some day I will be bald like them and then I will be short, fat AND bald! This makes the Bruins short and fat. Granted that should change after camp as one of the less likely roster spots is that of Chris Collins who is only 5'8" and weighs 195 (Holy crap he is fucking round, or he is freaking ripped like you wouldn't believe!)
Last but not least I took a look at the player place of birth. We have 9 U.S. born players. Three, will see the ice (Alberts, Mara, and Tim Thomas) the other six will likely see the ice but it will have a broken spoked B on it that looks a lot like a P for Providence. We have 13 Canadian players, nine will likely be skating on Causeway and the other four are up in the air as to where they end up. The remaining slots are taken up by players from other countries, Slovakia, Germany, Sweden and Russia if you count Zhamnov (I wouldn't even if he was healthy he would have been gone)
Bottom line is we definitely look different on paper than we did last year, I will give them that, first two lines could look pretty solid, net remains a question mark unless Toivonen picks up where he left off and Thomas remembers to keep the flopping to a minimum, as I am sure everyone has figured out to go high by now. Overall I see the Bruins starting the season ranked second in the Northeast behind Ottawa, or Buffalo, not sure which of those is likely to come out better or worse than last year. I will make my season prediction after the first few games.
Till then..... 33 days until camp opens!

Hotter Than Balls!

Hotter than balls you say? Well after and exhaustive search on Google, I have found that this statement goes along with any tempature that is above 94 degrees. Yup your balls are actually the coolest part of your body, and I don't mean large fireball explosion cool I mean tempature cool. So is hot as balls actually that hot? Not when you think about how fucking hot it is out today! I got in my car this morning and began the trek to work at 0630 and it was 92 fucking degrees already. Yes this was my car thermometer and we know how freaking reliable they are but hell, even if it was off by ten degrees that would still make it eighty fucking two degrees... and the dam sun was still rubbing the crust from its eyes. I can not wait to go to lunch and fry my balls on my black interior (Note to self: Don't by black leather, it cooks your swimmers!)

During my exhaustive research I came up with some fun tempature facts, did you know there is only one state in the country that has a record low tempature that is not negative? Any guesses on which one? Freaking Hawaii. The lowest recorded tempature (since records where kept, not sure when the hell that is but the weather asshole says it all the time so I decided to toss it in) is twelve degrees, now don't get me wrong, that is cold as shit, but seeing that it is still in the double digits it ain't THAT cold. Those poor bastards must have frozen their coconuts that day, literally!

SEVEN MY ASS!

Ever thought about the seven wonders of the world? Well today in a random thought I decided to look them up, well according to more than one source there are not only seven wonders of the world, there are eight seperate categories of the seven wonders, and I was thinking right after my original six tour, and my skiing in the rockies and alps, I would hit the seven wonders of the world tour. Well according to this list of the SEVEN(??) wonders of the world, I have been to 11 of the 56? Fifty six what the hell is that? I guess the “56 wonders of the world” was not a great marketing slogan so they changed it to seven, and added sub categories. By the way, most of these places on this list charge a fee so if you think it is not a marketing ploy think again, you have got to love capitalism!

The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World (0-7)
Can't say that I have ever been to any of these and I can not say that I will never go, seeing that some of these are in the Middle East and Uncle Sam is bound to ship me off there one of these days. Not that I will be doing much sight seeing but hey you never know I may get in to one or two of these places while shooting at some skinnies.
The Great Pyramid of Giza
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon
The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus
The Statue of Zeus at Olympia
The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
The Colossus of Rhodes
The Pharos of Alexandria

The Seven Wonders of the Medieval Mind (1-7)
Haven't been to any of these either, I did see part of the Great Wall of China at Epcot once, so for technical reasons I will mark that one off with an astrict and move it to the bottom of my to do list, and count it for now, hell that is a communist country and I am not putting myself through hours of interrogation just to see some dam wall!
Stonehenge
The Colosseum
The Catacombs of Kom el Shoqafa
The Great Wall of China *
The Porcelain Tower of Nanjing
The Hagia Sophia
The Leaning Tower of Pisa

The Seven Natural Wonders of the World (2-7)
Check that block, been to the Grand Canyon. I also thought that Niagra Falls was on this portion of the list but I guess not. Also how come the Great Barrier Reef is on this list and the next one! Something fishy here, Niagra is being added from an admin stand point, and why because this is my freaking blog and I said it should be on there so sit down and shut your pie hole.
Mount Everest
The Great Barrier Reef See The next dam list!
The Grand Canyon YEAH! I been there!
Victoria Falls
The Harbor of Rio de Janeiro
Paricutin Volcano
The Northern Lights
Niagara Falls (U.S. Side, the Canadian side does not count, until you eliminate those French speaking, tree hugging, white flag waving jackasses who live in Montreal.

The Seven Underwater Wonders of the World (0-7)
O.K. the Great Barrier Reef is now only on one list (I must have copied this crap off an Aussie web site) nothing like stuffing the ballot box or anything. Still have not been to any of these, some day if MARCH ever gets me diving, we will make the trip to Australia and go swimming with the Great Whites feeding at the reef.
Palau
The Belize Barrier Reef
The Galapagos Islands
The Northern Red Sea
Lake Baikal
The Great Barrier Reef*
The Deep Sea Vents

The Seven Wonders of the Modern World (4-7)
OK so I have been to the CN tower, I have been to the Empire State Building, I have been to the Panama Canal, and I have been to the Golden Gate Bridge. That make this list close to completion, not sure if I will ever do the Channel Tunnel, just imagine a Ted Williams incident halfway through that bad boy. NO THANKS, not to mention the fact that XM does not work in tunnels and I may miss Mike and Mike while driving through.
The Empire State Building DONE
The Itaipú Dam
The CN Tower DONE
The Panama Canal DONE
The Channel Tunnel
The North Sea Protection Works
The Golden Gate Bridge DONE

The Seven Forgotten Natural Wonders of the World (2-7)
FIVE, what the hell happened to the other two? They are so forgotten that who ever came up with this list forgot to add them? WFT OVER! If they are forgotten, then who the hell cares, Niagara Falls is on this list (must be for the Canadian side as no one goes to the Canadian side unless they went to the U.S. side first and drove across the bridge, just to say they went to Canada. Been to the Bay of Fundy, this place is pretty amazing when the tide comes in, I highly recommend it, the tide comes in something like 60 feet higher than low tide. I was fairly impressed with the whole thing.
Angel Falls
The Bay of Fundy DONE
Iguaçú Falls Krakatoa Island
Mount Fuji Mount Kilimanjaro
Niagara Falls *(Canadian side) DONE

The Seven Forgotten Modern Wonders of the World (2-7)
This whole forgotten theme needs to go, give me a dam break are they wonders or are the not? The Clock Tower (Big Ben) DONE.. “Look kids, Big Ben, Parliament..” For you Chevy Chase fans!
Eiffel Tower
The Gateway Arch
The Aswan High
Dam Hoover Dam DONE
Mount Rushmore National Memorial
The Petronas Towers

The Seven Forgotten Wonders of the Medieval Mind (0-7)
OK is this of the world or of the mind? Either way I’m 0-7 here, unless of course I go there in my mind. Shut up, I can do what I want, after all IT’S MY DAM BLOG and it’s is my mind, well what is left of it at least, not to mention the portion Uncle Sam has brain washed, hell o.k. so it WAS my mind and now I lease it!
Abu Simbel
Temple Angkor
Wat Taj Mahal
Mont Saint-Michel
The Moai Statues
The Parthenon
The Shwedagon Pagoda

Tell me how it is...

FIRST OFF, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCH!

OK so some of you know what I do for a living and some of you may have figured it out. Either way, I have been in my career field for ten years, working at various locations around the world doing various types of activities in my arena of work. Not to boast but I am considered one of the up and coming young guns in my line of work and have been brought back in house to do some training of new employees on the finer art of being a professional scum bag. Well today my superiors decided that the training staff has been a little to harsh on some of the new folks and they want to give us a class on how to be a good classroom instructor. Now that is fine, I am not a professional instructor (well I am according to my job description, but in reality I am someone who has been there, done that, and that is why I am where I am teaching about real life situations these people are likely to run into) So my feathers are ruffled because they have taken someone who has a degree in education (not sure if they have ever taught in a classroom, and if they did it was not a group of adults, it was at most some high school kids, which is different.) and they have told this person that they will teach us (the trainers) how to approach our class. OK teach me how to approach them, but don't go telling me that when I say, "you'll sh#t your pants the first time you shoot at someone or get shot at " or "talking like that to a border guard in country X will get you an a$$ beating", or "when someone is interrogating you it is not because they think your cute" this is not something these kids need to hear. Well in my professional opinion, I am going to tell them like it is, not how some person with NO experience who has not been there or even heard stories from someone who has thinks I should tell them. This business sucks and there are minimal rewards for the work you do, every time you step out the door you are putting your life, your families life and all those who know you (watch out MARCH this means you) on the line. There are people out there who would love to get a hold of someone you care about just to make you miserable (I guess your safe then MARCH) it truly is a sick business and I am suppose to handle these kids who have never been exposed to any of it that everything is fine and dandy and that at no time will they ever be put in harms way. Guess Uncle Sam wants them to see this world through candy coated glasses and let them think everything is just great. Man do I feel sorry for the next class when they actually go out and do their job and run into that one person who just simply hates America and will slap the crap out of them of just looking American.
This place is JACKED UP!

Some weekend FUN!

I spent this past weekend doing two of my favorite things, playing hockey and drinking. I traveled to sunny, ok mostly cloudy, Pottstown PA to play in a hockey tournament. This was a twelve team tourney with each team guaranteed at least three games and the finals being the two teams with the most points from each of the two six team divisions (Point breakdown was; two for a win, one for a tie, and nodda for a loss) which means you loose one game and you are pretty much done. The ride to PA was pretty much uneventful, other than the freaking traffic which is expected in the DC area. The team "Englewood Jack" (we had to spell it with an “E” due to copyright laws and the fact that we have shirts, hats, magnetic signs and many other forms of useless paraphernalia) met in downtown Manassas about 1:00 on Friday and headed North (well actually West, then North but who the hell cares) we had about 14 cars, vans, and sport utilities filled with the likes of 40 pounds of steak tips, 100 hamburger patties, ten packages of hot dogs, who the hell knows how many packages of buns (but as Saturday would tell us it was not enough) 29 cases of beer consisting of everything from Bud to Ice cold Sammy Adams (of course staying with my Boston roots, I refused to pack my 60 gallon igloo with anything but Sammy) Our team captain had the whole trip planned out from start to finish, we would all meet at the Taco Bell parking lot at 1:00 and he would place us in vehicle order for the road trip (seemed a little anal until I figure out there was a method to his madness) El’ Capitan had it worked out so that those of us who carry get out of jail free cards where spaced with one in the front, one in the middle and two bringing up the rear, this was to ensure that the only thing issued on the highway was a DEA, US CUSTOMS or USSS tee-shirt, and a hand shake with a promise to keep our speed reasonable. Needless to say no one was stopped, and all in all the weekend only had one instance of local law enforcement interference which was quickly squashed when a couple of us badged up and agreed to stop drinking in the rink parking lot at the request of four local Pottstown PD. (I think this was the biggest show of police presence this town had seen in years, the let down on the corporals face when he realized he was busting up a group of feds was priceless.) So we arrived at the hotel (Holiday Inn express) at about five on Friday night and proceeded to check in, grab a quick snack, two or three or four cold beers, then it was off to the rink for our 9:00 PM game. We where not sure what to expect, but we knew one thing, we had 18 guys which meant almost four lines of skaters, we knew we could skate anyone into the ground come the third period. The game started off quick and the pace was fast, the team we faced was decent but had a short bench, only carrying nine guys. We scored about 30 seconds into the game on a break away by my brother-in-law who was brought in as a pure ringer and it showed early, as he was untouchable. By the middle of the second period the other team was legless and we skated to an easy 5-0 win. I came out of the contest with two goals and two assists, and a plus five rating. Once back in the locker room, we found a nice present of two cases of beer sitting in the middle of the room, turns out the winning team gets two cases of beer after each win. (This is on top of the 29 we had already. This was not a good thing as some of our gents usually forget that we can stop drinking even if we still have beer left) After the game we decided to head back to the hotel order up a couple of hundred hot wings and consume our winning beer, deciding to take it easy, seeing that game two was at 9:15 Saturday morning. Well taking it easy meant that we went to bed by 2:00 am this had no correlation to the amount of beer we drank, as if you don't have a beer in your hand with this team somebody is likely to make you shot gun one (HINT: when playing with the Jack's keep a can in your hand even when passing out). By the time 2 am rolled around I was about ten beers deep and had consumed what felt like fifty wings. Earlier in the evening we had concocted our room heater/AC as to where all our gear was being air dried, the stench that came from that room when we opened the door stained the walls in the hallway, it was a cross between a deer that had been lying on I-95 for two weeks in August and baby puke. I thought for sure my wings where going to come up. After about thirty minutes I finally got used to the stench, not to mention I think I passed out (beer or smell being the cause is yet to be determined) but none the less when I packed my gear for the game Saturday morning it was dry! We packed our bags and headed for the lobby to do some damage to the continental breakfast. I pounded a couple of cinnamon buns and two giant glasses of apple juice (mistake one and two) and headed to the rink for game two. Game two was more entertaining that game one, as we where all hung over (some of us still drunk, others actually puking prior to taking the ice, I myself wanted to puke or at least take a dump but could not do either, in fear of doing both at the same time.) when all was said and done we had skated circles around this team and laughed, puked and pissed (one guy left between periods to piss and was gone for fifteen minutes, that was either a shit or a puke, either way it was funny, and definitely not a piss) our way to a 9-0 victory. I came out of that one still drunk, with two goals and four assists and was a plus 7. After the game we once again found those two mysterious cases of beer begging us to drink them so of course we did and then headed to the hotel to once again stain the walls with stench and take a quick nap and be back at the rink for a 5:15 game. The afternoon game was the talk of the tournament, as it was two of the three undefeated teams playing each other and it was billed as young and fast vs. old and skilled (we where the latter, as our team age average was 34 and we had two guys under 26) The game started off fast and the young bastards got off to a two – zip lead at the end of the first. We battled back in the second and trailed 2-1 starting to carry the play as the young guns could not keep rolling with the three lines we had coming at them. (They had 9 guys total and we showed them that three plus lines is the way to go in a men’s league tournament.) The third period started off bad as we let up two soft goals in the first minute and a half, and found ourselves trailing 4-1, things where not looking good for the Jack’s streak of ten straight appearances in tournament finals. About halfway through the period the young guns where spent they could not catch our first line and the other lines just kept the pressure on in the offensive zone. When all was said and done we had mounted the most incredible comeback in Jack’s history and we tallied seven goals in the third period to win 8-6. I ended that game with a goal and three assists and was a plus 5. The Jack’s had done the impossible we beat the young guns and where now the talk of the parking lot beer drinking, the word was out about our first line being able to fly and scoring the majority of our goals, and the long bench pounding guys into submission in the third period. The best part was the other teams thought we where all from Virginia and not until Saturday night did the word get out that 16 of our 18 guys grew up in Boston playing real hockey, everything from my NCAA Div-III background to one guy who played at Harvard. We had kid on the hook for playing who was actually drafted and played in the AHL, but the rules prohibit professional players or so it says (home town teams are given a waiver, or so it seemed). Saturday night consisted of the consumption of our two winning cases of beer and the remaining 18 or so cases, with three guys passing out and needing assistance to their rooms and the rest of us banging off the hallway walls on the way to our rooms. Which was not a real issue as our championship game was not until 11am (we finally went to bed sometime between 3 and 4 am.) We woke up around 9:30 and headed to the lobby to destroy the buffet once again and then off to the championship to claim our trophy. The finals started off really bad, we let up two goals in the first period and found ourselves facing a team that was made up of the ten players who where on the teams roster for the tournament and five players from the team we beat the night before… Hmmmmm… something stunk, other than our gear. Not to mention the two guys who showed up with ECHL stickers on their helmets and San Jose Sharks pants, and gloves, NHL logo and all, meaning they likely played in the San Jose organization at some point. These two guys where fast as hell and had rockets for shots. Turns out the team we beat Saturday night and the team we where playing where both local teams that had purposely been put in the two separate division so that they could cake walk through and play each other in the finals. What they did not expect was this team from Virginia to come in and dominate one of the divisions. By the end of the second period we had netted two goals and let in three, it was now 5-2 and not looking good. We then found out that the refs where also hometown favorites, we had five or six non calls that where blatant penalties, ( a punch, two cross checks in front of the net and a trip on a break away) so by the time the third period rolled around we where ready to take matters into our own hands. We began to play the body, one guy who shoots the puck in the high double digit range drilled the ref on what looked like an accidental dump, but was later to determined to be a missed head shot that hit the guy in the ribs. (my guess is at least one broken rib the way the bitch went down.) With a two minutes left and the Jack’s letting in another goal to go down 8-2 we called a time out, put the four guys we had over six feet on the ice and myself (only because in our regular league I have been known to mix it up every now and then, and have had some sucess, plus I don't care if I get beat up, as long as I get a couple of good shots in I'm happy.) When the puck dropped it looked like something out of slap shot and the gloves came off. I grabbed the center and hit him three times before he knew what was coming dropping him to the ice, and pinning him down while the rest of the boys squared up. Even the goalies met at center ice, removed there helmets, blockers and gloves and began to dance, it was great! We even had someone yell “ENGLEWOOD JACK” (watch the link for that one) making me laugh, which is when I asked the guy I was laying on if he had enough, he said yeah and actually tapped me on the shoulder and said you got me good with that first one. (I though it was the second one that actual buckled his knee’s) So as it ended (refs ran out the rest of the clock) the Jack’s lost the game but won the fight which is almost as good, we had one guy cut they had three, two requiring stitches and one looking like he had his nose moved to the side of his eye. We left the ice to cheers from the stands and from the other teams who had come out to watch what they thought was going to be a Jack’s easy win, they all said they liked the fight better than the game. I ended up with one goal and was even as I was only on the ice for one of their goals. Moral of the story is that if the Jacks’ don’t win the game they WILL win the fight! What a weekend, my body is begging for a tub full of ice right now but it was definitely worth it and I can not wait for our next run. I ended the four game weekend, with 6 goals and 9 assists and a whopping plus 17, not to mention a victory in the ring.

SCARED

Well I just returned from a trip to Tampa where I was involved in some training for our Uncle Sam. Part of the training involved people getting interrogated by some detectives on their activities while in the Tampa area. Needless to say, this portion was highly entertaining from my observer standpoint (the students on the other hand I am sure did not enjoy it) the interrogation took place along a traffic jammed road in a rest area ajacent to a local beach, in other words it was packed with tourists and as we found out from the detectives homo's, yup this was a local hang out for men seeking other men. Thank god we did not run into any of them. Anyway, just as the interrogation began it started to poor rain and I mean poor, there was a river running through the rest area and the detectives used it to their advantage as the students got put on their knees in the make shift river. I was extremely entertained and the first few students did fairly well and did not give up any information that would lead to the discovery of the teams activities, but I got scared when the most senior person began to get interrogated. This moron not only cracked and gave up all sorts of details on what they had been doing, but he also demanded to contact his superior putting up a fight (well he would have if he was not hog tied with plastic zip ties) He then gave up one of the sources they used and basically left him out to dry. In a real world scenario the source, the government employee and likely the rest of the team would have been beat senseless and the source would likely have rolled, causing their further detention and the eventual killing of the source.
It was a sad day, as we thought we had trained this individual better, but just goes to show you can lead a horse to water but you can not make him drink. The worst part is that this retard is in charge of the team.
The future of our country lays in hands similar to theirs. That makes me SCARED!

Something for our Immature lighter side.

Some of you may think this is a tad immature but it is a legend that needs to be told......

OK I have been begging MARCH to tell this story, but for some reason he has refused so I will give it my best shot.

It was well over twenty years ago, and like many summer nights from our childhood, March, our friend ALCO and I decided to camp out in the back yard. We started the prep work for our excursion to the deep back corner of my parent’s one acre lot early that afternoon. We robbed our piggy banks, and likely the black film containers full of quarters my old man used to keep on his dresser and headed off for the local corner store Cumberland Farms, for as much junk food as we could get for the five or six bucks in change we had gathered.
From what I remember we likely bought Fun Dip, Orange cheese popcorn (March was and I am sure still is a big cheese popcorn fan) and four or five packs of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. We had no need to buy soda, we knew we would be able to swipe two or three two liter bottles from my old man as he was known as a Sprite-oholic. He was always looking for that $.99 sale on Sprite and buying four or five cases of it. That was one thing you could always count on at my house, Sprite; it was always in the fridge and it was always stock piled in the basement.
After the trip to “Cumbee’s” we grabbed the two “pop tents” headed off into the great wilderness of 25 Pond St to pick a prime spot for our tents. The night went on like most, we watched some TV in the house, while eating some of the junk we bought, careful not to tip our hand as to how much we actually had in fear of an intervention by mom. When nine o'clock rolled around and dad had taken enough abuse for one night he banished us to the back yard. We quickly gathered what was left of our initial stash of food, grabbed a flashlight and headed into the wilderness. We had set up the tents so that the tent flaps made a small canopy between the tents, March and I where in one tent and Alco was in the other and we went about our normal routine of mother jokes, belching and the occasional passing of gas. Typical 10 -12 year old stuff, all the while we continued to eat the popcorn, fun-dip, and Reese’s washing it down with Sprite. Life was good, until Alco began to complain that he did not feel well. March being the brainchild behind our little escapade decided to reach into his bag of how to get instant relief, and told Alco to fart, "Farting always makes you feel better" which of course made March and I erupt into uncontrollable laughter. After gathering ourselves and wiping the tears from our eyes we heard Alco making some strange grunting sounds from the other tent, when out of no where came what is still known to the three of us as the longest loudest most horrific sound to exit ones bowels. March and I instantly returned to the uncontrollable laughter and tears along with utter amazement that Alco was able to produce such a sound, just when we thought we could not laugh any harder or cry any more, Alco uttered the most famous statement ever made in our small neighborhood….. “uuuuhhhh that made me feel worse…..” followed by, “Can I use your phone, I think I need to go home.” To this day, Alco is still ashamed of his unmatched performance that night and to this day anytime there is a reference to this story March and I break into uncontrollable laughter and tears. It is one of those childhood memories that I know March and I will never forget, and it is surely a feet that no human could ever match!

Someone get March a tissue... I know for a fact he is laughing so hard he is crying right now, as I am!

Call me CRAZY!

So the Bruins have all but stated that they are done in the free agent market, despite the rumors that they are perusing Brendan Shannahan. I quote you from good old acting GM "management's emphasis will now switch to the likes of Bergeron and Brad Boyes, the team's prime restricted free agents." To me that says we are done with the paying for the hired guns and we are going to take the twelve guys we have on the roster now and fill the gaps with Jerry's Kids. Well that is all fine and dandy until the new kids on the block don't strap the remaining eighteen guys on their back and skate us to a cup. This has all the makings for the same disaster we had last season. Joe and Sammy (even though my father in law says Sammy was not ever playing to what he was projected to, mind you my father in law is in my opinion one of the greatest hockey minds in New England, but I disagree.) Sammy got the shaft, played with a different group of guys each night and battled injuries, got the short end of the stick most of the time. If you step back and look at some hightlights of our man Sammy you will see one of the most incredible skaters and puck handlers in the game. Our two superstars which at one time where called the future of the Bruins where shipped out when the remaining cast failed to even be qualified for AHL competition not to mention NHL caliber play. So where am I going with this, well recently our beloved management team has stated that Zedno Chara was "a unique property, a huge and effective minutes eater whose size and strength lead to an intimidation factor beyond any backliner in the game. A potential team captain, he could be the franchise cornerstone we have lacked since Ray Bourque." Well I'll be, sounds a lot like Zedno is the new face of the Bruins and I would be willing to bet he dons the cover of this year media guide as well as the Bruins year book. (much like Joe and Sammy did for the past few years.) Call me CRAZY but after a year or two at 7.5 million a year you will see Zedno getting slapped in the face by this same management team when they ship him out of town for two or three players who make less than he does combined and the excuse will be that he did not perform as they had expected. Of course this story will have a happy ending much like this year and Chara will win the league MVP......

Still holding my breath hoping to see Sammy come back to beantown as a free agent.... He remains unsigned and we could get him at a discount, or for at least what they are offering Shanahan, and we would not have to worry about Sammy getting his social security check while still on our roster.....

Fire Sale!

Well the free agent period has begun and our beloved Bruins have signed two of the most expesive free agents out there. The have also traded a couple of folks, and have said they will be working more free agents. That said they have spent 13 million on two guys and with what they have on the books already, we are likely looking at two good lines with the third and fourth line being made up of AHL wanna bees. Not even AHL allstars. I hope I am wrong, after all Chara is 6' 9" and weighs about as much as a volkswagon bug, i.e. one big SOB, he also has an offesive side to his game and can actually skate the puck unlike Hal "cement shoes" Gil, and he does not get penalty after penalty like Nick "skate a shift sit in the box for two" Boyton.
The other big free agent is Marc savard who yes had some 90 plus points but he also skated with two of the most dynamic skaters in the league and we cerntainly don't have that. From what I see we have the makings of a team that will make the playoffs and be one and done. We lack a serious scoring threat from a second line and we have unproven goaltending (if you think Tim Thomas is tested, tell me what his NHL playoff record is....... )

Read Marches Funny story #1 *aka my longest post ever about the Prom.... It is a classic ! Ask him about the ALCO story... it is immature but will make you laugh so hard you will cry.

GAME 7

Tonight we will all (well those of us who actually watch hockey) get the chance to see a game 7 for hockey's holiest grail. I know March will be watching(at least he better be).

Here are some facts on da' cup that are kind of interesting:

*Logged more than 400,000 miles in travel during the past five seasons

*Has raised more than $4 million for charity the past three seasons

*Was purchased for 10 guineas ($48.67 at the time) in 1892 (It is now worth an estimated 3.8 Million dollars as the oldest trophy in professional sports. which is SICK)

*It takes 13 years to fill the ring of the Stanley Cup with names of winners

*Once a bottom ring is full, another one of the same size is removed from the top of the base and
retired at the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto

*Some misspells on the Cup that never have been corrected:

Jacques Plante's name has been misspelled five times, (incl. "Jocko," "Jack" and "Plant");
Bob Gainey was spelled "Gainy" when he was a player for Montreal in the 70s;
Ted Kennedy was spelled "Kennedyy" in the 40s;
New York Islanders was spelled "Ilanders" in 1980/81;
the Toronto Maple Leafs was spelled "Leaes" in 1962/63;
the Boston Bruins was spelled "Bqstqn" in 1972

YUP I AM LAZY!!!!!!!

OK so I have not posted to this thing in over a month. So that tells you how busy I have been. I have been able to enjoy a couple of the Stanley Cup playoffs and I think I like Carolina's chances. That said, I would like to see Sammy get his name on the cup, but the Hurricanes are looking pretty tough (never thought I would be saying that about the forver 500's, aah the good old whalers. Always good for a W)

So here we sit with a new GM. well kind of. We will actually get him in July two weeks after free agency begins. I don't see this as a problem because NO ONE wants to play here anyway. So missing out on the first two weeks will mean nothing because that is what we are going to end up with, ZIP, ZILCH, NAADA.

There is still talk that Sully is on his way out and that would be a shame. They should give the guy the immunity charm, he was left standing alone on an island and those in charge of getting him the boat got him one that was OLD, and was full of holes. The motor was new, but the bracket holding it on was used and rusted so the motor fell off and sank to the bottom. Then they bought a few new boards and sold the only two seats on the boat. But they saved money by doings so.
Sound familiar.... well it should! At least if you have been a Bruins fan for the past eight million freaking years!

Best of Luck Peter C. Your going to need it.... Now that there is a "level Playing feild"

Eat shit Harry, hope you get hit by the charter bus! If you do say hi to JOE. After all you let him get thrown under there!

Congrats JOE!

After a well deserved run with his new team, FORMER Bruin leader Joe Thorton won the scoring title last night and pretty much wrapped up the league MVP. The scoring title was hopefully Joe's first of many and we will not know about the MVP tally until sometime in JUNE. Way to GO JOE... Next stop Lord STANLEY!

For you B's fans there is still hope that we land the lottery tomorrow and pick up the #1 pick, although this years draft is nothing special, (i.e. there is no Ovechkin, Crosby or Thornton up for grabs)

9 Things that should piss us all off!

This is classic, I think I am going to start doing the later half of number one, jsut to see what I get for a reaction from people.

1.People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2.People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3.When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4.When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5.When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6.People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7.When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8.When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9.When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?