Something for our Immature lighter side.

Some of you may think this is a tad immature but it is a legend that needs to be told......

OK I have been begging MARCH to tell this story, but for some reason he has refused so I will give it my best shot.

It was well over twenty years ago, and like many summer nights from our childhood, March, our friend ALCO and I decided to camp out in the back yard. We started the prep work for our excursion to the deep back corner of my parent’s one acre lot early that afternoon. We robbed our piggy banks, and likely the black film containers full of quarters my old man used to keep on his dresser and headed off for the local corner store Cumberland Farms, for as much junk food as we could get for the five or six bucks in change we had gathered.
From what I remember we likely bought Fun Dip, Orange cheese popcorn (March was and I am sure still is a big cheese popcorn fan) and four or five packs of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. We had no need to buy soda, we knew we would be able to swipe two or three two liter bottles from my old man as he was known as a Sprite-oholic. He was always looking for that $.99 sale on Sprite and buying four or five cases of it. That was one thing you could always count on at my house, Sprite; it was always in the fridge and it was always stock piled in the basement.
After the trip to “Cumbee’s” we grabbed the two “pop tents” headed off into the great wilderness of 25 Pond St to pick a prime spot for our tents. The night went on like most, we watched some TV in the house, while eating some of the junk we bought, careful not to tip our hand as to how much we actually had in fear of an intervention by mom. When nine o'clock rolled around and dad had taken enough abuse for one night he banished us to the back yard. We quickly gathered what was left of our initial stash of food, grabbed a flashlight and headed into the wilderness. We had set up the tents so that the tent flaps made a small canopy between the tents, March and I where in one tent and Alco was in the other and we went about our normal routine of mother jokes, belching and the occasional passing of gas. Typical 10 -12 year old stuff, all the while we continued to eat the popcorn, fun-dip, and Reese’s washing it down with Sprite. Life was good, until Alco began to complain that he did not feel well. March being the brainchild behind our little escapade decided to reach into his bag of how to get instant relief, and told Alco to fart, "Farting always makes you feel better" which of course made March and I erupt into uncontrollable laughter. After gathering ourselves and wiping the tears from our eyes we heard Alco making some strange grunting sounds from the other tent, when out of no where came what is still known to the three of us as the longest loudest most horrific sound to exit ones bowels. March and I instantly returned to the uncontrollable laughter and tears along with utter amazement that Alco was able to produce such a sound, just when we thought we could not laugh any harder or cry any more, Alco uttered the most famous statement ever made in our small neighborhood….. “uuuuhhhh that made me feel worse…..” followed by, “Can I use your phone, I think I need to go home.” To this day, Alco is still ashamed of his unmatched performance that night and to this day anytime there is a reference to this story March and I break into uncontrollable laughter and tears. It is one of those childhood memories that I know March and I will never forget, and it is surely a feet that no human could ever match!

Someone get March a tissue... I know for a fact he is laughing so hard he is crying right now, as I am!